eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
