I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
