what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
