If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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