Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize