so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
