Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
