I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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