If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize