You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
