just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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