So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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