Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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