I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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