it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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