I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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