I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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