I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
