So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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