He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
