I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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