I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
