Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
