Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
