no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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