someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
