I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
