Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
