You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
