I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
