his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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