Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my shit smells like andre
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
