I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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