woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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