East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
