No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
