Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

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  (217): he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper http://tfl.nu/swmc
  Replies (55) Good night (12173) Bad night (758)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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  (314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw
  Replies (16) Good night (962) Bad night (3502)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks

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  (320): Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks http://tfl.nu/7398
  Replies (64) Good night (1434) Bad night (6450)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger

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  (864): I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger http://tfl.nu/bdgv
  Replies (10) Good night (2922) Bad night (792)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf

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  (503): My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf http://tfl.nu/5frw
  Replies (28) Good night (1314) Bad night (7115)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.

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  (253): Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real. http://tfl.nu/8edz
  Replies (7) Good night (2522) Bad night (826)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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  (773): NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU. http://tfl.nu/h1az
  Replies (10) Good night (2286) Bad night (848)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now

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  (832): I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now http://tfl.nu/6g0n
  Replies (10) Good night (2576) Bad night (672)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"

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  (845): Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him" http://tfl.nu/pb7e
  Replies (9) Good night (1342) Bad night (650)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

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  (561): I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly http://tfl.nu/d11t
  Replies (12) Good night (851) Bad night (587)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more

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  (305): The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more http://tfl.nu/xgx0
  Replies (6) Good night (456) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yup

  (936): View more from Texas

  I love us.

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  (936): Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn? (832): Yup (936): I love us. http://tfl.nu/6mn5
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win

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  (425): I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win http://tfl.nu/52ex
  Replies (5) Good night (535) Bad night (218)
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  (805): View more from California

  THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall

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  (805): THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall http://tfl.nu/p5vc
  Replies (7) Good night (490) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now

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  (210): Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now http://tfl.nu/b5ox
  Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (353)

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