Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van

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  (727): Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van http://tfl.nu/7qz4
  Replies (13) Good night (2204) Bad night (725)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

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  (307): if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/s9we
  Replies (64) Good night (1980) Bad night (4886)
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  (916): View more from California

  We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.

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  (916): We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame. http://tfl.nu/u712
  Replies (17) Good night (929) Bad night (4411)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.

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  (425): I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up. http://tfl.nu/h9rh
  Replies (18) Good night (3775) Bad night (963)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

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  (810): According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant. http://tfl.nu/aq1y
  Replies (25) Good night (11566) Bad night (1302)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.

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  (732): she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it. http://tfl.nu/tlpk
  Replies (9) Good night (3788) Bad night (853)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was like getting a handjob from robocop

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  (412): it was like getting a handjob from robocop http://tfl.nu/4yuu
  Replies (15) Good night (1017) Bad night (4108)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?

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  (713): Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order? http://tfl.nu/nfxj
  Replies (2) Good night (2829) Bad night (1016)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.

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  (918): I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation. http://tfl.nu/6ld9
  Replies (6) Good night (986) Bad night (2786)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.

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  (281): Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have. http://tfl.nu/1d5c
  Replies (10) Good night (3756) Bad night (641)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.

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  (239): No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm. http://tfl.nu/6ztv
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (1655)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!

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  (423): You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!! http://tfl.nu/8r5y
  Replies (14) Good night (1492) Bad night (548)
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  (661): View more from California

  I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.

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  (661): I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love. http://tfl.nu/wt93
  Replies (8) Good night (991) Bad night (709)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight

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  (216): Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight http://tfl.nu/4usg
  Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (675)
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  (562): View more from California

  I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.

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  (562): I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me. http://tfl.nu/171n
  Replies (3) Good night (1402) Bad night (282)

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