Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'

  (708): View more from Illinois

  such a stalker...

  (248): View more from Michigan

  she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.

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  (248): I prefer the term 'tenderly watching' (708): such a stalker... (248): she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet. http://tfl.nu/m7cj
  Replies (2) Good night (1420) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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  (909): I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice. http://tfl.nu/z7v3
  Replies (14) Good night (4564) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore

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  (617): i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore http://tfl.nu/4xlx
  Replies (21) Good night (1410) Bad night (4539)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.

  (310): View more from California

  Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.

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  (310): Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her. (310): Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse. http://tfl.nu/0qfy
  Replies (18) Good night (4582) Bad night (1662)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11608) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.

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  (917): I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake. http://tfl.nu/yic9
  Replies (24) Good night (1509) Bad night (2765)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.

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  (919): dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night. http://tfl.nu/52we
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (2020)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think

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  (615): fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think http://tfl.nu/g5tp
  Replies (15) Good night (1651) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

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  (845): You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this. http://tfl.nu/x8z4
  Replies (15) Good night (3091) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.

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  (405): I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream. http://tfl.nu/lzqh
  Replies (12) Good night (1968) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.

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  (203): I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe. http://tfl.nu/ze7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1168) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"

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  (804): Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming" http://tfl.nu/0exb
  Replies (4) Good night (383) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.

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  (412): Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants. http://tfl.nu/2i1x
  Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.

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  (661): If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/1zgh
  Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.

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  (971): I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad. http://tfl.nu/wd71
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (276)

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