Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun

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  (805): I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun http://tfl.nu/vzxf
  Replies (1) Good night (910) Bad night (700)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Who wears a wallet chain?!

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  (203): Who wears a wallet chain?! http://tfl.nu/1rec
  Replies (40) Good night (569) Bad night (2379)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.

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  (801): Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list. http://tfl.nu/2ara
  Replies (129) Good night (2874) Bad night (492)
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  (805): View more from California

  Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.

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  (805): Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response. http://tfl.nu/yy5l
  Replies (9) Good night (5609) Bad night (555)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.

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  (847): I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people. http://tfl.nu/av1w
  Replies (16) Good night (1402) Bad night (4355)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.

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  (215): If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from. http://tfl.nu/hl9i
  Replies (6) Good night (3447) Bad night (721)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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  (815): i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing. http://tfl.nu/zu31
  Replies (5) Good night (3912) Bad night (731)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.

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  (314): one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this. http://tfl.nu/eiot
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (1146)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  $150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.

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  (813): $150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins. http://tfl.nu/s65x
  Replies (33) Good night (2828) Bad night (948)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?

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  (940): Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito? http://tfl.nu/3rt4
  Replies (11) Good night (2300) Bad night (504)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation

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  (520): Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation http://tfl.nu/bc5i
  Replies (1) Good night (1052) Bad night (454)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"

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  (201): You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth" http://tfl.nu/kxgj
  Replies (5) Good night (1240) Bad night (414)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.

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  (506): I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again. http://tfl.nu/wsg3
  Replies (2) Good night (1021) Bad night (459)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.

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  (864): I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide. http://tfl.nu/p1xg
  Replies (7) Good night (939) Bad night (305)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on

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  (919): I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on http://tfl.nu/gqy6
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (315)

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