We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
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Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
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I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.