ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.