You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.