you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.