just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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