i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
