PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
