Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
