so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
