Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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