Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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