Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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