You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize