Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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