We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
