so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
