I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
