it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
