The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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