I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
