Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
