Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
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She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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