its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
